Corona Virus, Weddings, and Rescheduling Solutions
John Parker • Mar 28, 2020
This Can't Be Happening...
Brides across the country, and world even, cry out "This can't be happening!"
I have been in the wedding industry since 2001 and thought that I'd seen it all. Then the Corona Virus showed up. This changed so much for so many and it isn't even over yet. With almost everything in the country being cancelled or postponed, it doesn't come as any surprise that weddings are facing the same thing. This is terrible. My heart breaks for the brides-to-be that are forced to deal with this nightmare.
WE WILL GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER.
You Are Not Alone.
I have kept a close watch on how this current pandemic is affecting the wedding industry and our worried or devastated clientele. I've found brides banding together and sharing ideas, concerns and just venting to one another about how hard all of this is. You are NOT alone in this!
Brides from all over the country are supporting one another in groups like Wedding Disaster Support: COVID-19.
If you are considering rescheduling your wedding, I strongly encourage you to join this group.
There Are Solutions.
The two biggest pieces of advice that I can offer you are:
1. Weddings are rarely perfect, ever. And that's ok.
- Weddings are perfectly imperfect, just like you, just like your soon-to-be spouse. No matter how much we plan, how much we communicate, how much we stress over a wedding... life happens. Life shows up as the cousin who wants to swing dance with the bride and looses his grip as she tumbles across the dance floor. Life shows up as the guests that show up late and walk in during your ceremony. Life shows up as the nephew that falls off the stage during the toast. So the pressure is off. Your wedding was never going to be 100% perfect. So let's make the most of it. The imperfect reality of the wedding you will have will be moments you treasure far more than sugar coated expectation of the wedding that simply wasn't meant to be.
2. It's better to be flexible than to be miserable.
- If things don't bend, they often break. I would much rather see you bend, or compromise, on a few things than to break, or lose your mind trying to force the impossible to happen. There is not a single solution is a one-size-fits-all fix for every bride trying to deal with their Corona Wedding. But we will get to the solutions out there soon.
Are we flexible on rescheduling?
Are we flexible on a 2020 reschedule?
Are we flexible on a Saturday reschedule?
Are we flexible on having the ceremony and reception both on the same day?
The Options.
1. Full Steam Ahead!
Whether your wedding
is tomorrow or next year, the decision to follow through as planned or reschedule is completely up to you. Your family and friends may not understand, they may disagree, they may be less than supportive either way. They may even appear to not care about your wedding or if and when it will happen. Please remember that your wedding will never be as important to anyone as it is to you. It's probably also good to keep in mind that during this pandemic, many of your friends and family members may be struggling with loss of income, financial worries, or even health issues.
That being said, if you are planning on keeping your date, check with your vendors.
Is your venue going to allow your wedding to take place? Are they under a crowd restriction? Are they not allowing events due to CDC recommendations or guidelines? Talk to them about their reschedule policy now, even if you plan on moving forward. Things could change quickly. Are you photographer, videographer, florist, caterer, and DJ all onboard to service your date? Are any of them currently under "Shelter In Place" orders? What are their refund policies if they are not covering your event? Do not, in times like this, simply assume your vendors will show up. Be proactive and positive as you reach out to them.
Consider your guests.
Are they on lock down? Are they healthy? Are they willing to come despite the recommendations to stay home?
Do you have guests from out of town that may have
trouble safely getting in? Do you have elderly family members that may be at risk by attending? We have ideas on how to communicate with your guests, but we will address that shortly. Normally, 85-90% of your RSVPs will show up. These are far from normal
circumstances. Should you choose to
keep your date, be aware- some brides have been disappointed after they've stuck with their date and only had 20-30% of their RSVPs attend.
Just something to consider...
Lastly, don't forget about your marriage license!
Some counties have stopped issuing marriage licenses altogether for the time being. If you go ahead with you date, let's hope nothing changes at the license office between now and your wedding! I would advise you to get that license as soon as possible, but remember they are only good for so many days.
2. Love - Elopement Style
If you want to keep your original date but you know it isn't feasible to do a grand reception at that time, consider elopement style.
Some couples are opting to have a small, intimate ceremony on their original date. Then a few months down the road, or possibly even next year, have your big grand reception. This is similar to an elopement or a destination wedding in that usually the big party is reserved
for once you return to the social scene. You could livestream your ceremony, record the vows for a ceremony re-enactment later, or just keep it truly private and unplugged and just live in the moment with the moments captured only by your memories.
If you can wait for the fancy reception, but just don't want to wait another day to be his wife, this could be a great option for you! Feel free to announce that you are eloping when it is safe to do so and you are not making the details public. Due to restrictions on event size, most friends and family will understand that only essential people will be attending this very small ceremony. Let your people that you are currently working with your venue and other vendors on setting a date for the upcoming reception and you look forward to seeing them there! If you are not under a "Shelter In Place" order, enjoy your small ceremony with a few close family members, then go stay at the nicest hotel in your area. You could probably get a fantastic deal on a beautiful suite!
3. Mulligans!
If you don't want to separate the ceremony and your reception, then don't. Just reschedule the whole thing. Some venues may be booked every Saturday through the end of 2020 though. Some perhaps even longer. Communication with your venue and other vendors is really critical for a total reschedule. Talk to each of them and let them that you do not want to cancel, just to reschedule. Most vendors are being very accommodating and understanding through this. Most of us would much rather bend over backwards for several reschedules than have to do a single refund. Before setting your new date, talk to your vendors again. Are each of them available for that new date? September and October are peak wedding months. We were booked for almost every Saturday in October before we had May brides wanting to reschedule for October. Venues and other vendors may not be able to reschedule you for a Saturday night until 2021. You may also be faced with vendors schedules conflicting. If your venue and photographer are both available for your potential new date, but your caterer is not, you may have to have that unpleasant conversation about cancelling with the vendor that cannot provide for the new date. This is a conversation you are better equipped for if you've already spoken to all your vendors about their rescheduling policies and you've looked over your contracts with each of them. I'm sure it's possible to get all your vendors secured again on the same night, but how far out will that put your reschedule date, 1 year? 2 years? If you can get the majority of your vendors free on the same day within 6 months, you may want to seize the moment and hope for the best with your unavailable vendor.
Speaking of seizing the moment, there are plenty of brides trying to reschedule right now. That makes for plenty of brides all vying for a very limited number of 2020 dates. Typically, they will be taking whatever the venue has available. That means that your venue could be giving the same list of 6 dates to each of their 8 brides trying to reschedule. The numbers, of course, are just used for illustrative purposes, but you get the point. The higher the likelihood of you having to reschedule, the faster you should move in doing so. The early bird will truly get the worm in this rush to set new dates!
Watch For These 2020/2021 Trends!
"Off-Peak Days"
Friday and Sunday are often available at a discounted rate with certain vendors, simply due to supply and demand. We still provide the same excellent service on a Sunday afternoon that we provide on a Saturday night. However, since the demand is lower for a wedding DJ on a Sunday afternoon, we usually offer this "off-peak" discount.
Off-Peak Weddings will be crazy popular
over the next 12 months or longer. Brides will be willing to take a Thursday Wedding in October of 2020 as opposed to the original Saturday Wedding they planned but only being available in October of 2021 or even 2022. This means that many vendors will likely not be offering these "Off-Peak" discounts for a while. It also means that you probably should not expect your current vendors to move you from a Saturday in May to a Sunday in September at a discounted rate. It doesn't hurt to ask, but when it comes to rescheduling, bargain shopping will likely not ensure a prompt reschedule date.
Virtual Meetings
As we continue to practice social distancing and staying at home, we are also trying to brush ourselves off and carry on with our lives. We have always enjoyed sitting down and having a nice face-to-face meeting with prospective new clients. It gives us a chance to get to know you guys, to begin building a rapport and relationship with you. There have been times we have driven over an hour just to sit down over a cup of coffee with clients. We will begin using FaceBook Portal for virtual meetings. I'm sure with everyone being more cautious of germs and more aware of defending their personal space, this will become more popular. I'd still love to sit down and grab some coffee with you when the proverbial coast is clear.
Micro Weddings
Micro weddings are smaller, more informal weddings often with less than 20 guests. They are typically more relaxed in nature and shorter in length than your traditional 4-6 hour wedding reception.
They have gained popularity in recent years as couples try to simplify. The large extravagant weddings are absolutely beautiful, but they can also be incredibly expensive. The more elaborate the wedding, the more it costs, and often the more stress the couple feels as they plan it. I think with this current pandemic, people will be more inclined to embrace the micro weddings simply in an effort to keep themselves and their guests at a lower risk of exposure to things like this.
We have considered offering a Micro Wedding Package in the past and probably will should the demand be there.
Save The Date...Again!
Whether you are sending out invitation updates or simply getting together with your photographer for a fun shoot to commemorate your postponement, Save The Date Again will be trending.
Now What?
Wedding Wire has a support staff available at (833) 998-2865 for anyone with rescheduling questions.
In fact, they have an incredible pool of resources related to Weddings and COVID-19, just CLICK HERE.
Create a FaceBook group to communicate with your guests and update them in regards to any changes in your wedding. This is way cheaper than sending out new invites to everyone. You can also share pictures, directions to the venue, registry info, etc. Not everyone is on FB, but only having to contact 5-10% of your guests another way is certainly not that bad.
Another way to do this that may not be free, but still pretty affordable and super easy, I've heard is TextYourGuests.
If you want to do a full on re-enactment of your vows at your delayed reception, record them at your actual ceremony. You can get a professional grade digital recorder for around $100. Then, your officiant doesn't need to show up and do the re-enactment, just have your DJ edit the recording. You'll already be married, so your DJ can play the audio of your officiant as the two of you stand up there and recite your vows again.
And lastly, if you do have to try to get refunded by any of your vendors and they are uncooperative, perhaps this will help you. This is copied advice to the DJ community from someone that is both a DJ and an attorney. I believe that's correct, so take this for what it's worth:
"If the government has made it so the event cannot be had, your contract has entered what is called the "impossibility" status. That is VERY rare.
When it is determined that the contract is "impossible" to fulfill, both parties are to be put back in the position they were right before the contract created. In a service industry such as ours, that basically means you are giving back all/most of their money. This is one of the few times it does not matter how much you worked on your client's event, all that matters in determining what must be refunded is what was delivered to the client, or what you have currently you can deliver. In our business, that is very little. Some examples might be planning forms, the custom mix for the first dance.
So, if you want to keep the money you have, you better be VERY NICE, and very accommodating for rescheduling dates. But make no mistake, if they request a refund and you refuse, you will lose in court.
At this point, most every state has declared some sort of emergency and many have limited the size of gatherings. Those things cause the Impossibility to kick in. I know many states exclude weddings from the gathering size, but be sure to read the fine print. The few that I have checked out do not include the reception, only the actual ceremony.
If there is no limit on size or state of emergency, other things can cause the Impossibility. The venue not allowing the event could be an example. Relatives not being able to make it would NOT be an example.”
When it is determined that the contract is "impossible" to fulfill, both parties are to be put back in the position they were right before the contract created. In a service industry such as ours, that basically means you are giving back all/most of their money. This is one of the few times it does not matter how much you worked on your client's event, all that matters in determining what must be refunded is what was delivered to the client, or what you have currently you can deliver. In our business, that is very little. Some examples might be planning forms, the custom mix for the first dance.
So, if you want to keep the money you have, you better be VERY NICE, and very accommodating for rescheduling dates. But make no mistake, if they request a refund and you refuse, you will lose in court.
At this point, most every state has declared some sort of emergency and many have limited the size of gatherings. Those things cause the Impossibility to kick in. I know many states exclude weddings from the gathering size, but be sure to read the fine print. The few that I have checked out do not include the reception, only the actual ceremony.
If there is no limit on size or state of emergency, other things can cause the Impossibility. The venue not allowing the event could be an example. Relatives not being able to make it would NOT be an example.”
We sincerely hope this helps you or someone you know that me struggling with how to deal with planning a wedding during a pandemic.
Feel free to reach out to me if you have any questions or if there is anything else that I can do. Whatever advice or counsel that I can offer is absolutely free of charge to clients of ours or not. We are sorry you have to go through this, but we will not let you go through this alone.
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